One page reads,
Sunday September ?
Kenwood House, Hampstead Heath:
I am so tired. A man said "Jolly Good" to me.
Keats House:
[Just a smudge of soil on the page labelled "Keats Dirt!"]
The only time I got some serious ink down on the page was while I was trapped on a long bus ride from London to the Lake District. Even then, the diary mainly consists of strange ramblings, rather than insightful travel logging
October 17, 2006
Here I am again, setting out on yet another crazy lone adventure [...]I'm feeling like a bit of an idiot for taking a coach to Keswick. Christ, this is going to be a long ride. Also, I stink of orange.
NO! I am determined to enjoy myself like never before!!!!
Weee! Hurrah!
- omg, these seats recline! GLORY HALLY-LU-YA! This improves things immensely
- I'm so lazy. My brain is a blob of mush.
[drawing of a brain, with sections labelled:
- sleepin'
- slackin'
- procrastinatin'
- chillin'
- messin'
- skivin'
- thinkin']
- The woman behind me doesn't care for dimly lit cafes. She likes to see what's on her plate!
- I want my first husband to be named George, so that if I'm widowed I can mourn "Darling George" for years, just like Amelia Sedley in Vanity Fair, or Rose Nylund in Golden Girls
- I wonder how much the drivers earn?
Agghh! I want to not be on this bus anymore, thanks. This has been a total old ladies wagon. When the old ladies get off at their stops they have people waiting for them with hugs and probably cars and hot dinners.
Bleh. I am jealous of old ladies because at best I'll find a McDonalds, then walk in the rain and dark to a mysterious hostel which may be difficult to find.
And I'm ALONE, ALOOOONE!
Starting to get motion sickness!
FUCK WHY IS THIS ROAD SO WINDING? I bet it is charming in daylight, but right now I FUCKING DESPISE IT."
Can't wait to show this writing to my grandchildren. Although, in a later entry on the same journey I describe the scenery as "outrageously bucolic." I think that turn of phrase alone should get me some offers from the travel mags.
P.S. I have just looked it up, and contrary to my statement in October 2006, George was Blanche's husband, not Rose's.
i bet your children will find it entertaining if not insightful.
ReplyDeletei wanted to do an update on my drug trip on Tuesday, but decided against it. Mainly because I don't want it to be used against me later if I try to become Prime Minister of Canada.