Friday, October 30, 2009

Baker Street Irregular

Look at what I made! (I've decided to be Sherlock Holmes for Hallowe'en. A day before the 31st! This is a new record in my hallowe'en costume planning. I've never had so much forethought.)

Anyway, I made this badge and chuckled for about 10 minutes straight. Holmes loves Watson, don't tell me any different. I think I should make a "Dear Cocaine" badge as well.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Birds

The other day Rachel and I were talking about the local sports teams, as us gals are wont to do.

I said, "Beauchemin's arrival in Toronto is not yet working out as well as his splashdown in Anaheim, but his play is getting better along with the other big free-agent signing on defence, Mike Komisarek."

And she said, "Yes, but among the forwards, only the lesser lights such as Wayne Primeau, Colton Orr and Jay Rosehill have done their jobs."

Typical.


Okay, what actually happened was that I accidentally referred to the Toronto Blue Jays (or are they just 'Jays' now?) as The Maple Budgies.

Is this a new low in sports ignorance? Probably.

But, in my defense, I've had budgies on my mind lately. I just want to go on record as a bird supporter. I'm sick of people these days and their birdie trash talking.
"They are stupid"
"They are loud"
"They freak me out when they fly"

No. YOU are stupid. YOU are loud. YOU can't fly and YOU are jealous.


Birds are awesome.

(This post is dedicated to the memories of Merlin, Monty, Anakin, the one I found in the backyard and who never got a name that stuck, and bitchy Sky who died a year ago. RIP Budgie Pals! You are shredding God's wallpaper now.)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Walking in Toronto

Two eventful things happened to me on the way home today. My paper bag busted open and I had to gather my belonging and rearrange them in the remaining bags. As I was doing this in the middle of the sidewalk on Dundas street an elderly Chinese (or at least I think Chinese) woman asked me if I was taking the streetcar.
elderly Chinese woman: "do you have token?"
me: "no,"
I cared on and she stood there looking at me, shuffling her bags from one arm to the next.
elderly Chinese woman: "do you have money?"
me: "yes, I have money" I figured out that she wanted to exchange my change for her token. Her English was really basic.
elderly Chinese woman: "I neet money... money for token"
me: "okay," and I started getting the money out of my pocket "two dollars" I said
"NO!" she exclaimed, I was startled, "NO! TWO SEVENTY FIVE"
I shock my head,
me: "but that is how much a token costs", perhaps I showed a little to much attitude and knowledge of the city, I think she might have assumed I was a visitor with all my bags.
elderly Chinese woman "NO! when you get on is two seventy fie,"
I shock my head, "but it only cost you two dollars"
"NO! NO!" she exclaimed again.
I don't know why she didn't offer two fifty, if she really needed the money, she is making a profit and I am saving money. I don't know why I resisted so much, since the price would have been even for me. We both stood there for a few moments once I finished with my bags, than I decided I would just walk home.

The second thing that happened was this.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Two's Company: Recipes for Intimate Entertaining

I found this book in a box by the side of the road. I probably should have left it there, because it looks like it will be almost entirely useless to me. Ten pages devoted to veal!

My favourite recipe:

Cantaloupe with port

1 fresh cantaloupe
4 tbsp. port

1) Halve cantaloupe and remove seeds.
2) Pour port into the centre of each half and refrigerate until serving time


Translation:
POUR BOOZE IN A MELON.

SERVE.


That's some intimate entertaining for you! Very classy.




Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I THINK I JUST COINED A WORD

Schemebags!

As in, those Tories are a bunch of dirty lying schemebags!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

babies

It recently came to my attention that this blog is the number two search result on google when searching "where do babies come out of in the mom"
initially i was confused "are really little kids using google? It took a few minutes for it to occur to me that people maybe searching for advice on how to approach the issue with their children.
As someone with no credentials and no children on her own here is my advice.
babies come from a stork. and thanks god for that because I would hate to have to really give birth or have stretch marks. I was so relieved when I found out that was a myth.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

VIDEO BLOG

Alex asked us to start a podcast, but Cailin doesn't want to.

Cailin and I have been discussing which names qualify for our future husbands. We think they should have the same name, to make life amusingly confusing. twin names! Here is part of the process!
video


(EDITED BY CAILIN TO ADD: If we get desperate, these unknown gentlemen might have to change their names... That's how committed we are to this future conversation;

RACHEL or CAILIN: I have bad news.

CAILIN or RACHEL: Oh no! What's wrong?

RACHEL or CAILIN: Andrew is having an affair.

CAILIN or RACHEL: Oh my god! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

RACHEL or CAILIN: No, dear.. YOUR Andrew.

And then we will laugh and laugh and laugh. And then one of us might get divorced, but at least we'll have enjoyed a good joke.)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tuesday Oddity



This was the view from my kitchen window yesterday. For a moment I looked at the wires jutting out of the woman's hair and thought that man was reprogramming his robot-wife.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A thing to blog about


RACHEL the maven of fashion and retail has informed me of one the greatest secrets you will ever hear.

People with small to regular sized feet can simply purchase their socks in the children's department and enjoy HUGE SAVINGS!!!!!!

HUGE SAVINGS!!!!!

HUGE SAVINGS!

And they fit your feet. Also, there is only ONE TAX on children's garments. I can't wait to get me some Jo-Bro socks.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

DRIVING A BIKE!


So it is settled, I am driving my bike.
Cailin and I discussed how often people tell me that I can't "drive a bike" well we looked up the definition of 'driving' and discovered that yes it is only called driving when involving a motor-vehicle, key word being motor. But what is the definition of motor is "anything that imparts motion". YES! from the Canadian Oxford Dictionary!
I figure, I'm on the road, beside other motor-vehicles, therefore I am driving.
discussion! To be honest I don't care much about this discussion, but it is another thing I always get wrong.