Wednesday, November 17, 2010

To her dismay!

From wikipedia:
On May 21, 2009 Judge Morrison England, Jr. of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by serial litigant Janine Sugawara who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" because she believed "crunchberries" were real fruit. Sugawara alleged that after four years of purchasing the product she had only recently discovered to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls. The judge commented "In this case,... it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen."

Serial litigant, or cereal litigant? Hohoho, this paragraph has brought me such joy.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sexy Break-Out Performance in The Social Network

I just viewed The Social Network at a cinema, and was totally captivated by a stunning silver screen debut.

MY TEA CUP! One of my favourites! On a fancy-important-elitist Harvard desk!

I discovered it at Valuable Village, and now it has hit the big time. I hope it remembers me in the Oscar acceptance speech.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I made the mistake of googling today's new word I made up, and of course found that some jerk on urban dictionary already defined it. 642 people have given this inconsiderate individual their thumbs up of approval, but they are misguided. Anyway, to the word.




Now the criminally insane pervert who posted it on urban dictionary thinks that the word is "the acknowledgement of an accusation, or a point made by someone you consider to be a douchebag."

NO! Douché is the acknowledgement of a good point, but point itself is a douchey point to make. As the defeated individual, you might not think the victor is a douchebag at all. Example:

Leper: I think nose rings are awful and would never, ever get one myself.

Mother Teresa: Well, of course you never will, because your tragic disease has caused your nose to collapse.

Leper: Douché, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. Douché.

Monday, October 25, 2010


After much freaking and spazzing out, I killed one of these today. I was pretty sure it was an evil demon or a time traveller from the Cretaceous period .

Now I feel very bad, because I've learned that House Centipedes feed on spiders, bedbugs, termites, cockroaches, silverfish and ants.


Never again.

Monday, September 27, 2010

conversations with Tom

Earlier today I had a conversation over the internet with my late cat Tom. Lies. I had a conversation with my cousin Tom who happens to have the same name. He lives in Durham, United Kingdom and is about 20 years old. Check out his blog.

I am posting this conversation because I think it was an begins to tease out both our of our world views and may perhaps lead to further insights, questions, and comments. Obviously we are not infallible and please take into consideration intended meaning as I know we both did.

ps. Tom if you have any objections to how you were portrayed please make them clear so I can make the appropriate changes.

Me: Why aren't you a feminist?

Tom: To be honest, I wont be able to argue this well, not having debated this before, but I'll try...

Tom: It's a biological fact that men and women are different, not only in body, but in mind too....while I wholly disagree with the notion that women are worse off because of this (quite the contrary) a capitalist society, where aggression and corporate ruthlessness benefit the economy and are encouraged...

Me: I don't think feminism says that woman are worse off because of this, they are worse off due to patriarchy, basically you just argued the feminist argument

Tom: oh lol, but I think men are better at being ruthless and aggressive...and therefore better suited for high management jobs.

Me: that since society makes the world aggressive and more difficult for woman it is the business of people to fight against those powers

Tom: oh I see

Me: Basically to make space for the disenfranchised

Tom: ok, I see the argument, I'd have to think about whether I'd agree with changing the structure of businesses to correct this would be beneficial for the economy,...

Me: economy?!? why does money matter more than people and fairness and no one is arguing necessarily for a drastic change immediately, it is up to you how that change should happen, but just to work to make room where you see a group being excluded.

Tom: it doesn't matter more. But if you wanted to extrapolate that argument to the extreme, communism would be the way forward, and since that has failed in every implementation, capitalism is the only way forward, where jobs are given based on ability and nothing else...and the way to control such a system is with money...

Me: I think that is a slippery slope. There are other options. Maybe you and I aren't able to come up with them, but a system that clearly benefits specific groups without question is never something one should work to keep, a system that is modeled on aggression

Tom: true. i will agree that there are potentially better systems. But until somebody comes up with one, we should stick to capitalism...

Me: why does someone have to come up with it? Why can't we just move in that direction by everyone working to make this one better. As legislation changes and proves to be more effective we will be making that system

Tom: well that is what's happening now. And either society will develop into a fairer one, or business will be too restricted by rules and bureaucracy and the economy will suffer...

Me: Its not what is happening now

Tom: But as I said, this is the first argument I've had about this, I haven't really read or thought a great deal about it...

Me: it is what some hope to have done, feminist and others. This is why i believe everyone should work in some way to make things fairer instead of accepting them as they are.

Tom: well it's hard to make people fight to make things fairer, if their quality of life would suffer...

Me: I'm not asking for a fight, and that is up to the interpretation of each feminist. I am asking for baby steps, just an ongoing effort

Tom: I suppose that is the most successful steps.

Me: This is why I am a feminist, and why I ask people why they are not,
because I want to know why other people don't want the world to be better, or themselves and for others, and why they don't put small amounts of effort into finding space for them to make change, only where they feel comfortable.

Tom: The problem is, I can't imagine a world without inequality and a scientist I can't fathom a societal structure that would allow for this...

Me: it won't be the fastest change, or maybe the most effective, but it is better than accepting the world as it is existing within in and dieing. I can't imagine it either, but why should that stop me from working toward it? I don't see why the limitations of my brain to imagine should make me or anyone else give up. but now we are arguing for the part of feminism that means action, I assume you believe that all humans are equal.

Tom: I believe all humans should be given equal rights...but i don't believe all humans are equal. The nature of good and bad alleles in genetics proves we are not all equal, but it should be the job of the more fortunate to help those less fortunate

Me: that is very middle class and patronizing.

Tom: haha...oh

Me: sorry i should have said... "I believe...." I was super patronizing there.

Tom: ha, don't worry, we are having a discussion, in my mind I add " I believe" onto each sentence anyway

Me: good, I often need that, I can be a dick, one of the criticisms of second wave feminism is it holds the belief, second wave activism too, alliances quickly show that all groups have something to offer, power does not equal knowledge,

Tom: no, it does not, in all my arguments, i try to go back to a fundamental knowledge of science and logic and work up from there, I'd fight for a society ruled solely by science...

Me: science is flawed, it is based on domination, not understanding, now here is where i get radical, hahaha

Tom: I would argue that science is not flawed. That science, where it can be proven correct by the laws of mathematics, is the only thing we can truly rely on.
Tom: fundamental philosophies where something cannot be proven by mathematics are examples of where it can't be used... but I would like to hear why science is based on domination...

Me: It was created by men to dominate nature, to change it from what it is, not to learn and communicate with it. They believe that humans are superior and can not benefit from learning the perspective of what it studies but only how what it studies can work for it.

Tom: but science is by definition the study of the word around us! it was created to try and explain the world around us, not to control it.

Me: science does not exist in a vacuum

Tom: well actually it does

Me: it is determined by funding, motivations.

Tom: nooooo, untrue. Science is available to anyone. Gregor Mendel, the founder of genetics, had no funding, just a desire to understand... if one was able to zoom in close enough on space in a vacuum, even more detail would come to light. A quantum soup of spontaneous creations and destruction, particles appearing out of nowhere, only to disappear again...

Me: I am not equipped to argue this further but you have not convinced me. I love science, but I am annoyed that people worship it as blindly as they did Jesus 100 years ago.

Tom: I agree. and a lot of pseudo science is preached as actual science today, hence why I limited my statement to "science that can be proved my mathematics"

Me: well I disagree with that because math is just another tool and it discounts social science and anthropology

Tom: well, those still have to prove their ideas with statistics, a branch of mathematics, I agree that for example, neurology is extremely difficult to prove mathematically, that is where the scientific method helps, by testing, evidence can be amassed that can be used in statistics to help prove something, but in those cases the true proof is limited to the experiment...

Me: I guess we are on the same page mostly, yet I am very suspicious of method and motive, and you are suspicious of change in the system.

Tom: haha, typical human I guess. scared of change

Me: ahha, I'm super glad we had this conversation, I often just get frustrated and never complete this conversation. I either believe the other person is too stubborn, too stupid, or too ill informed to actually discuss these fundamental questions. The reality is probably I do not have all the tools to argue my case.

Tom: likewise for me, we have different knowledge bases, so naturally will have different opinions, I do genuinely try to understand your argument before making a judgment...

Tom: If i ever come to Canada, I shall bring plenty of English tea, my thinking head and we shall have long discussions face to face....

Me: I hope so! I love tea, I am making some right now!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Black Cat

I've faced a series of misfortunes and unpleasant occurrences in the last few months, so when I was strolling down the street last night and spotted a small black cat on the edge of the sidewalk ahead of me, I was just not having it. No sir, that cat shall not cross my path. I've already been witness to a recent mirror-breaking, I've recklessly opened umbrellas indoors, and I shudder to think of how many pavement cracks I've thoughtlessly stepped on. CAT! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

I don't know if the cat was thinking of passing or not, but I decided to be proactive and pick up my pace to get beyond it quickly. I guess I must have startled the cat though, or maybe it was inspired by my speed to get in a bit of exercise itself, because the cat started sauntering alongside me. I sped up more, and the cat followed suite. Pretty soon, I was racing a goddamn cat down the street.

If anyone witnessed this event, I very much hope they interpreted it as an epic struggle between an anguished yet bravely persevering woman and a malevolent omen of cruel fate determined to destroy her! Not just as a lunatic racing a cat.

I won the race, so I'm pretty excited about the all the good luck which is now undoubtedly heading my way. Hurray!

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Today celebrates the birth of a nation and a new, exciting, inspiring, yet absolutely horrible word.




Shopping options. You could title a map of a mall "shoptions."

"Where are you going to buy new jeans, David?"

"I don't know... What are my shoptions?"


Sunday, June 13, 2010

My dad was never a really strict disciplinarian, but this is still an exchange I never expected to happen in my lifetime.

2 year-old niece: Grandpa, I want more tomatoes!

Dad: Not until you finish your cake.

Me: There's cake? I want cake!

Dad: Finish your beer.


So far this blog has gotten the scoop on two great words I've coined (schemebags and laundramatic). I'm feeling less confident about this new addition to my lexicon, but here we go.




Allow me to explain. Organic + Ironic. I'm thinking foodstuffs. I'm thinking all-natural, pesticide-free, but totes ridic, you know? Like an organic jello salad or fondue. Vegan pigs-in-a-blanket?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

In light of the success of garfield minus garfield, I am proud to present

Dilbert Minus All The Characters in Dilbert

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Attn: Steve Jobs

I'm as impressed by all the latest techno gadgets as the next person.
  • iPhones have KILLER APPS!
  • iPads are saving the publishing industry
  • iPods play music and shit
And yet... I long for more.

I long for:

The iBall

A computer shaped like a crystal ball! Imagine sitting in coffee shop surrounded by dorks with lame "traditional" computers, while you summon all world knowledge with a glowing electronic orb, like some sort of elven princess or wicked witch?
That would be totally wicked.

Looking up the weather forecast would be immensely more enjoyable. And that is already pretty enjoyable as it is!

Imagine Skyping with an iBall. Magic!

I am so excited for this product to go on the market. A google search tells me that I am not the first to think of it, which kind of pisses me off. But imagine how much greater and more dramatic my anger would have been if I'd found out that bad news through my iBall! I could have screeched with rage and summoned some flying monkeys to attack my enemies.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I recently went for a quick jaunt to New York City. Normally I try to pack as much as I possibly can into short trips to great cities, but this time I was forced to relax and accept a slower pace, since I was visiting family.

I did manage to spend a few quality hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art though.

We meet at last.
What a place. Obviously, I only saw a tiny fraction of their collection. And being me, I focused on the 19th century paintings and raced through the European paintings. HIGHLY SATISFYING.

I was very excited to stumble into a exhibition called Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollage.

Friends, this is so in my wheelhouse.




God, I love this stuff. It's so whimsical and creepy. I love the idea of these wealthy, leisured women taking the stern photos of their important relatives and acquaintances and sticking them on ridiculous drawings.

Terry Gilliam practically had all his work done for him.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Where are you from?

I have a friend who lives in Vancouver, She is of Jamaican decent. She was born and educated in Toronto.
My friend has been living in Vancouver for a few of years now, her and I have discussed the fact that only a small number of Black people living in Vancouver.

During the Vancouver Olympics my friend told me that she had a large number of people "Welcome her to Canada".
She pointed out that, she had identified most of these people as migrants, people with accents.

My friend was very much offended and felt that she had more of a right to be considered Canadian than any of them.
In fact it is her birthright.

I think there are a number of things going on here.
First Vancouver is a tourist city, and during the Olympics the number of tourist was huge. A lot of these tourists were from the United States. It is well known that there is a large number of black Americans in the U.S.

I also think that these people who were welcoming my friend were doing this perhaps as to assert their own right to Canadian status. I would guess many of them feel marginalize, and often excluded from what it is to be 'Canadian'. Perhaps they are proud to be Canadian and desired others to know this.

Despite their rationale, this 'welcoming' upset and frustrated my friend.

I told this story to one of my professors, this story was of little surprise since she has experienced this same familiar phenomenon over and over again.

My professor’s daughter was once at the band and was being asked for her 'landed immigrant card'. She was asked by a Chinese woman who spoke with an accent. My professor described this accent as “so deep, it was difficult to understand her when she spoke”. My professor’s daughter informed her that she was born in Toronto and offered to show her birth certificate. It was an awkward moment. My professor was present and asked "Why did you ask her for an immigration card? Does she look like an immigrant?".

Like my friend my professor was annoyed at the assumption coming from someone who had clearly not lived in Canada as long.
I think one has an emotional response to any incident that implies lack of entitlement to being Canadian.

Why do people assume that black people are immigrants?
Black people have been in Canada since 1796.

My friend and many other black people I know hate being singled out in a group of non-black people and being asked, "where are you from?". Even within groups of white people, my friend is usually the only one who was actually born in Canada. Most of the people who have asked were born in Europe or the US. Both Europe and the US have longer histories of black migration, yet these questions are just as common. Some sources say more common.

This is discrimination.


Git your dictionaries out ya'll. GIT!

I've coined yet another another momentous and useful word that you will soon be using in your daily life.




Take a moment to change your pants, for you have just soiled yourself in excitement.

Laundry is the cause of so much drama. Do you realize that the laundry room in my apartment building is flooded with water practically every time I go in there? That sends me into a rage. Also, once some jerk took my stuff out 10-15 minutes before my dryer cycle finished and STOLE MY PRECIOUS DRYER TIME for their towels. I positively flipped out. It was a LAUNDRAMATIC scene.

I have googled this fine word and got 787 results. This is easily explained. The internet is filled with time travelers who read my blog post in the future.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

O Canada

So, the guvnamint wants to change the lyrics of O Canada to be more gender neutral.

No more true patriot love in all thy sons command. I say GO FOR IT. The CBC radio man who told me about this mentioned substituting it with the original lyrics: "in all thou dost command."

Sweet. We'll all sound like Shakespeare.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Rachel just told me about a facebook application called catbook, the purpose of which is to post pictures of your cat. We joined in lamenting our mutual lack of cats to photograph. Then I struck upon the momentous idea of simply drawing cats and posting those pictures. But I didn't feel like drawing cats. What were we to do?

Rachel reached for her sketchbook for inspiration. How about GirlSittingOnABusInGuelphbook? ADinosaurThatKindOfLooksLikeADuckbook? No. Horrible, disgusting ideas.

And then we found her drawing of Lou Reed with a Really Small Hand.

And LouReedbook is born! Right here! Dear Reader, cut the umbilical cord and be the godparent, won't you?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Call For Artists: Residency in Vancouver for 8 weeks!


the Full Circle Artist Residency Applications Due: January 22, 2010.

I just got a message on Facebook about this great oportunity. I hope artist make the best of it.

This project will take place in the city of Vancouver, British Columbia.
It will span the entire 8 weeks of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Games.
This is an opportunity to be an unofficial Olympic artist residence.

The Full Circle Artist Residency will provide room and board, and solo exhibition space. The trip to Vancouver includes 46 day stay in furnished residence, access to gallery bathrooms and communal meals included, Art budget of $500 - $1000 (receipts required). Doesn't this sound fun!

Cost: Gropp’s Gallery charges a 15% commission on all works sold during the opening of the Blood & Culture exhibition on February 12th, 2010, and a legacy donation of one piece of art (chosen by the artist) is to be donated to the Rare Earth Society’s permanent collection.

Artist will hold 100% ownership (accept donated piece) of all works created and sold during their residency. The chosen artist is required to hold open studios minimum 4 hours a day 5 days a week.

Apply yourself or tell your friends about it.

Late Night In The Bedroom

I think this might be my favorite Late Night Show.
I'm not really a late night talk show or a comedy gal like my co-blogger Cailin. But I am most certainly an interested in Music and Art girl. Late Night In The Bedroom is a web blog out of Toronto. check it out!

Monday, January 11, 2010


Wow I can't believe the direct contradiction to the Obama Administration and their desire to listen and help the American People versus the Canadian Federal Government.

If you are American or have an American address tell Obama what you think about this current agendas.

After learning about Tony Clement's Comments about those who oppose the proroguing of government Cailin and I co-wrote this letter and sent it to him. We all should since Clement claims Canadian's don't care and he hasn't only received a few dozen messages. Well not after today. Look here at what other people have said, then contact him yourself.

Dear Mr. Clement,

I am writing in response to your comments that those opposed to the proroguing of parliament are "elite." You stated that you are "not here to govern on behalf of the chattering classes." I didn't realize it was appropriate for our elected officials to discriminate on the basis of class. I also didn't realize that engaging in public debate makes ordinary citizens apt targets for our elected officials' scorn and disrespect.

I was under the impression the government represented everyone. Including those who are informed on politics and are not afraid to speak their mind on issues.

This latest move is a betrayal of our democracy, and your comments are a disgrace to the office you hold and the public you are supposed to serve.

Rachel and Cailin

As we wrote our message we eat proroguies, I mean perogies.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


It has been nine days since all of us have made our New Years resolutions.
I wonder how many of us have already given up.

Cailin and I wrote out new years Resolutions a few days late. Here are mine.

1. Improved Punctuality
2. Read 52 books
3. Cook at home 4 times a week
4. Be a better penpal
5. Improve oral and hygiene and oral hygiene

It has been five days or so since we established them and here is an update.

1. I was 11 minutes late for work on Friday.
2. I read 1 book and haven't read anything since. 40pages a day is more than I bargained for.
3. Cailin made lasagna Thursday, I made pasta on Friday. 2/9 days.
4. I wrote three people!
5. Only special friends will get to know the answer to the first part of this resolution. And well the rest of you can check for yourself if I stink or my teeth are whiter.

I wanted to Wish you all a Happy New Year!


I just saw Fiddler on the Roof. As the sign outside the theatre announced, the role of Teyve was played by Harvey Feirstein. Since I know next to nothing about Broadway and its stars, this meant nothing to me.

Until the man spoke and I realized it was KARL, HOMER'S EXECUTIVE SECRETARY.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Reverse Geocache Puzzle

I just read about a cool project called the Reverse Geocache Puzzle. This man assembled a gift box which is locked from the inside and can't be opened until it is taken to a certain location.

Who knew what fun people would have with GPS...

Anyway, I stumbled upon this story through the writings of a man who plans to put a ring in his own puzzle box, and use it to propose to his girlfriend in a special location.

As it says in the follow up to the original story, "it’s the perfect combination of mystery, software, romance, and mechatronics."

Awwww. Nerds in love are the best.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sick of reruns.

Found this amusing photo while browsing the Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament facebook group (which is at 29, 250 members so far.)

How can I express my disgust at Stephen Harper's latest betrayal of our democracy? Should I just copy and paste my rant from the last time Harper decided that Canadians don't need to be represented in Parliament when he doesn't feel like it?

In December 2008, when I stood outside in the freezing cold at a sad little protest rally and endured watching hippies INTERPRETIVE DANCE to show my support for democracy, I seriously thought it was a crazy, one-time event in Canadian history. I cannot believe this shit is happening again.

So, it looks like Harper is ruining my birthday, yet again (he was voted in on January 23rd 2006). I'll be spending at least part of Saturday January 23rd 2010 attending another ice cold rally. Rallies are being planned across the country.
If there is more awful, embarrassing dancing, I may cry. Canada, if you would just pay attention and stand up for your right to be represented, the hippies wouldn't feel the need to dance! You can stop the madness!

This damn Prime Minister... Doesn't even have the consideration to outrage me during a temperate month.