Because the Fundamentals of your Hearts are Strong, and there is No Recession of your Affection

Hello readers.
You all love me very much, right? Why not express your love in the form of a fancy new camera for me, and some expensive hair products?

In these trying economic times, you owe it to yourself to invest in me, because I have secret financial advice which may save all stock markets. I certainly can't share it, however, with dull, dry hair and no fancy camera to capture world leaders' astonished and relieved faces.

YOU can make this happen!