I've faced a series of misfortunes and unpleasant occurrences in the last few months, so when I was strolling down the street last night and spotted a small black cat on the edge of the sidewalk ahead of me, I was just not having it. No sir, that cat shall not cross my path. I've already been witness to a recent mirror-breaking, I've recklessly opened umbrellas indoors, and I shudder to think of how many pavement cracks I've thoughtlessly stepped on. CAT! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
I don't know if the cat was thinking of passing or not, but I decided to be proactive and pick up my pace to get beyond it quickly. I guess I must have startled the cat though, or maybe it was inspired by my speed to get in a bit of exercise itself, because the cat started sauntering alongside me. I sped up more, and the cat followed suite. Pretty soon, I was racing a goddamn cat down the street.
If anyone witnessed this event, I very much hope they interpreted it as an epic struggle between an anguished yet bravely persevering woman and a malevolent omen of cruel fate determined to destroy her! Not just as a lunatic racing a cat.
I won the race, so I'm pretty excited about the all the good luck which is now undoubtedly heading my way. Hurray!
