IT
IS
SHOPTIONS.
IS
SHOPTIONS.
Shopping options. You could title a map of a mall "shoptions."
"Where are you going to buy new jeans, David?"
"I don't know... What are my shoptions?"
Sigh.
"I don't know... What are my shoptions?"
Sigh.
Greek Chorus of Feminist Shame.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Coinage!
Today celebrates the birth of a nation and a new, exciting, inspiring, yet absolutely horrible word.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Coinage!
So far this blog has gotten the scoop on two great words I've coined (schemebags and laundramatic). I'm feeling less confident about this new addition to my lexicon, but here we go.
It
is
ORONIC.
is
ORONIC.
Allow me to explain. Organic + Ironic. I'm thinking foodstuffs. I'm thinking all-natural, pesticide-free, but totes ridic, you know? Like an organic jello salad or fondue. Vegan pigs-in-a-blanket?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
In light of the success of garfield minus garfield, I am proud to present
Dilbert Minus All The Characters in Dilbert
Dilbert Minus All The Characters in Dilbert
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Attn: Steve Jobs
I'm as impressed by all the latest techno gadgets as the next person.
I long for:
The iBall
A computer shaped like a crystal ball! Imagine sitting in coffee shop surrounded by dorks with lame "traditional" computers, while you summon all world knowledge with a glowing electronic orb, like some sort of elven princess or wicked witch?
That would be totally wicked.
Looking up the weather forecast would be immensely more enjoyable. And that is already pretty enjoyable as it is!
Imagine Skyping with an iBall. Magic!
I am so excited for this product to go on the market. A google search tells me that I am not the first to think of it, which kind of pisses me off. But imagine how much greater and more dramatic my anger would have been if I'd found out that bad news through my iBall! I could have screeched with rage and summoned some flying monkeys to attack my enemies.
http://tv.adobe.com/show/learn-indesign-cs4/
- iPhones have KILLER APPS!
- iPads are saving the publishing industry
- iPods play music and shit
I long for:
The iBall
A computer shaped like a crystal ball! Imagine sitting in coffee shop surrounded by dorks with lame "traditional" computers, while you summon all world knowledge with a glowing electronic orb, like some sort of elven princess or wicked witch?
That would be totally wicked.
Looking up the weather forecast would be immensely more enjoyable. And that is already pretty enjoyable as it is!
Imagine Skyping with an iBall. Magic!
I am so excited for this product to go on the market. A google search tells me that I am not the first to think of it, which kind of pisses me off. But imagine how much greater and more dramatic my anger would have been if I'd found out that bad news through my iBall! I could have screeched with rage and summoned some flying monkeys to attack my enemies.
http://tv.adobe.com/show/learn-indesign-cs4/
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Victorians!
I recently went for a quick jaunt to New York City. Normally I try to pack as much as I possibly can into short trips to great cities, but this time I was forced to relax and accept a slower pace, since I was visiting family.
I did manage to spend a few quality hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art though.
We meet at last.
What a place. Obviously, I only saw a tiny fraction of their collection. And being me, I focused on the 19th century paintings and raced through the European paintings. HIGHLY SATISFYING.
I was very excited to stumble into a exhibition called Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollage.
Friends, this is so in my wheelhouse.
I did manage to spend a few quality hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art though.
We meet at last.I was very excited to stumble into a exhibition called Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollage.
Friends, this is so in my wheelhouse.
Victorian!
Photo!
COLLAAAAAGE!
God, I love this stuff. It's so whimsical and creepy. I love the idea of these wealthy, leisured women taking the stern photos of their important relatives and acquaintances and sticking them on ridiculous drawings.
Terry Gilliam practically had all his work done for him.
 | |
| | |
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Where are you from?
I have a friend who lives in Vancouver, She is of Jamaican decent. She was born and educated in Toronto.
My friend has been living in Vancouver for a few of years now, her and I have discussed the fact that only a small number of Black people living in Vancouver.
During the Vancouver Olympics my friend told me that she had a large number of people "Welcome her to Canada".
She pointed out that, she had identified most of these people as migrants, people with accents.
My friend was very much offended and felt that she had more of a right to be considered Canadian than any of them.
In fact it is her birthright.
I think there are a number of things going on here.
First Vancouver is a tourist city, and during the Olympics the number of tourist was huge. A lot of these tourists were from the United States. It is well known that there is a large number of black Americans in the U.S.
I also think that these people who were welcoming my friend were doing this perhaps as to assert their own right to Canadian status. I would guess many of them feel marginalize, and often excluded from what it is to be 'Canadian'. Perhaps they are proud to be Canadian and desired others to know this.
Despite their rationale, this 'welcoming' upset and frustrated my friend.
I told this story to one of my professors, this story was of little surprise since she has experienced this same familiar phenomenon over and over again.
My professor’s daughter was once at the band and was being asked for her 'landed immigrant card'. She was asked by a Chinese woman who spoke with an accent. My professor described this accent as “so deep, it was difficult to understand her when she spoke”. My professor’s daughter informed her that she was born in Toronto and offered to show her birth certificate. It was an awkward moment. My professor was present and asked "Why did you ask her for an immigration card? Does she look like an immigrant?".
Like my friend my professor was annoyed at the assumption coming from someone who had clearly not lived in Canada as long.
I think one has an emotional response to any incident that implies lack of entitlement to being Canadian.
Why do people assume that black people are immigrants?
Black people have been in Canada since 1796.
My friend and many other black people I know hate being singled out in a group of non-black people and being asked, "where are you from?". Even within groups of white people, my friend is usually the only one who was actually born in Canada. Most of the people who have asked were born in Europe or the US. Both Europe and the US have longer histories of black migration, yet these questions are just as common. Some sources say more common.
This is discrimination.
My friend has been living in Vancouver for a few of years now, her and I have discussed the fact that only a small number of Black people living in Vancouver.
During the Vancouver Olympics my friend told me that she had a large number of people "Welcome her to Canada".
She pointed out that, she had identified most of these people as migrants, people with accents.
My friend was very much offended and felt that she had more of a right to be considered Canadian than any of them.
In fact it is her birthright.
I think there are a number of things going on here.
First Vancouver is a tourist city, and during the Olympics the number of tourist was huge. A lot of these tourists were from the United States. It is well known that there is a large number of black Americans in the U.S.
I also think that these people who were welcoming my friend were doing this perhaps as to assert their own right to Canadian status. I would guess many of them feel marginalize, and often excluded from what it is to be 'Canadian'. Perhaps they are proud to be Canadian and desired others to know this.
Despite their rationale, this 'welcoming' upset and frustrated my friend.
I told this story to one of my professors, this story was of little surprise since she has experienced this same familiar phenomenon over and over again.
My professor’s daughter was once at the band and was being asked for her 'landed immigrant card'. She was asked by a Chinese woman who spoke with an accent. My professor described this accent as “so deep, it was difficult to understand her when she spoke”. My professor’s daughter informed her that she was born in Toronto and offered to show her birth certificate. It was an awkward moment. My professor was present and asked "Why did you ask her for an immigration card? Does she look like an immigrant?".
Like my friend my professor was annoyed at the assumption coming from someone who had clearly not lived in Canada as long.
I think one has an emotional response to any incident that implies lack of entitlement to being Canadian.
Why do people assume that black people are immigrants?
Black people have been in Canada since 1796.
My friend and many other black people I know hate being singled out in a group of non-black people and being asked, "where are you from?". Even within groups of white people, my friend is usually the only one who was actually born in Canada. Most of the people who have asked were born in Europe or the US. Both Europe and the US have longer histories of black migration, yet these questions are just as common. Some sources say more common.
This is discrimination.
Coinage!
Git your dictionaries out ya'll. GIT!
I've coined yet another another momentous and useful word that you will soon be using in your daily life.
Take a moment to change your pants, for you have just soiled yourself in excitement.
Laundry is the cause of so much drama. Do you realize that the laundry room in my apartment building is flooded with water practically every time I go in there? That sends me into a rage. Also, once some jerk took my stuff out 10-15 minutes before my dryer cycle finished and STOLE MY PRECIOUS DRYER TIME for their towels. I positively flipped out. It was a LAUNDRAMATIC scene.
I have googled this fine word and got 787 results. This is easily explained. The internet is filled with time travelers who read my blog post in the future.
I've coined yet another another momentous and useful word that you will soon be using in your daily life.
It
is
LAUNDRAMATIC.
is
LAUNDRAMATIC.
Take a moment to change your pants, for you have just soiled yourself in excitement.
Laundry is the cause of so much drama. Do you realize that the laundry room in my apartment building is flooded with water practically every time I go in there? That sends me into a rage. Also, once some jerk took my stuff out 10-15 minutes before my dryer cycle finished and STOLE MY PRECIOUS DRYER TIME for their towels. I positively flipped out. It was a LAUNDRAMATIC scene.
I have googled this fine word and got 787 results. This is easily explained. The internet is filled with time travelers who read my blog post in the future.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
O Canada
So, the guvnamint wants to change the lyrics of O Canada to be more gender neutral.
No more true patriot love in all thy sons command. I say GO FOR IT. The CBC radio man who told me about this mentioned substituting it with the original lyrics: "in all thou dost command."
Sweet. We'll all sound like Shakespeare.
No more true patriot love in all thy sons command. I say GO FOR IT. The CBC radio man who told me about this mentioned substituting it with the original lyrics: "in all thou dost command."
Sweet. We'll all sound like Shakespeare.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
LouReedbook
Rachel just told me about a facebook application called catbook, the purpose of which is to post pictures of your cat. We joined in lamenting our mutual lack of cats to photograph. Then I struck upon the momentous idea of simply drawing cats and posting those pictures. But I didn't feel like drawing cats. What were we to do?
Rachel reached for her sketchbook for inspiration. How about GirlSittingOnABusInGuelphbook? ADinosaurThatKindOfLooksLikeADuckbook? No. Horrible, disgusting ideas.
And then we found her drawing of Lou Reed with a Really Small Hand.
And LouReedbook is born! Right here! Dear Reader, cut the umbilical cord and be the godparent, won't you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)